“There are years that ask questions and years that answer.”
2015 was a year for asking questions - where are we going, are we happy in Denver, am I happy in this job, do you want to get married (!)?
2016 is for answering a few of those I think. I won't get all the answers but I think I'll be on the right path to a few of them. The best part though is that regardless of if I feel confused as to what direction I'm heading in, I also feel at home, as long as Adam is with me. Home for me was never a place, since we moved so much. Meeting and being in a relationship with Adam has helped me to realize I was missing that sense of home for a very long time. He brought that back to me.
I knew 2015 was going to be one of those in-between years, and 2016 feels like I am about to jump into the deep end of the pool. When I was single and wanted to find love and meet "the person" I would tell myself that it was okay to be lonely and okay to be alone because there was some magic in not knowing the end of the story yet, not knowing how it would all work out. You know, I was totally right. That was kind of special. What I didn't know though, was that the story would be better than I could have ever imagined it. That I would actually meet someone so absolutely well suited for me and me for him. 2016 will be a celebration of our story continuing on into the next part of our life together.
This fall I talked to a couple mystical types of people - while I was asking questions about jobs and my calling, they kept redirecting my attention to family and love. They told me the career questions will be answered later, for now my focus should be on building my family with Adam and finding our home (physical/metaphorical).
There have been years where I accomplished more (ran a half-marathon) and years where I was so terribly lost in the darkness of depression and 2015 was neither of those. 2015 was a year to build a foundation for myself and for my relationship with Adam.
I feel as if I am at the door and looking out at a huge landscape of all that is to come. Like I didn't know the rest of my story before I met Adam, there is so much more of our story left. I am holding those parts tucked deeply in my heart. I've learned to try and let myself be surprised by joy.
I'm awake, I am here, and it feels good.
